Tired, low, lonely boy :/

It’s Friday….yay…. :/

I’ve had a headache all day and its not been gone for very long.

Pain has been ok-ish. Just felt uncomfortable really today.

Haven’t been able to keep warm, this evening I am so cold. Earlier today I felt like I was in a cold sweat which is horrible.

Mood has been pretty low today 😦 zero motivation, no appetite, not even the slightest…forced food down me today.

Spent most of the day on the sofa either asleep or feeling agitated and low.

I managed to get up showered and dressed by about 2:30 pm. Good job really seeing as I actually needed to go further then just across the road to take the pups to the vets…my only motivation to do anything.

Pups are both in good health and both at the same weight as last time. Just had their flea treatment. I have some granules to give scrappy as the worming tablet he had last time didn’t agree with him, so she gave me some food to mix the granules into and hopefully he’ll eat it all and keep it all down *fingers*crossed* But she said to give it to him at the weekend because of having the flea treatment today.

Dropped the pups home and I went back out to the chemist to pick up my medication. I don’t like to leave the pups outside shops, so I always take them home first. Round here lately a lot of dogs have been stolen, even right in front of the owners 😦 so I’d never risk it. But anyway yeah I think they forgot the one medication I am owing from when I put my prescription Monday…but I don’t need that yet, so I’ll sort it out in the week.

Got in….eventually got round to sorting my dinner out even though I had a nice beef joint in the slow cooker. Did some roast potatoes and veg. Sat down to eat and I really didn’t want it 😦 ate a bit, but gave most to the pups so least it didn’t go to waste. I’m sat here and I am hungry. But I don’t want to eat. I don’t feel hungry, but my stomach feels hungry if that makes any sense at all lol :/ meh. I was doing well with eating better. But last few days I’ve just not been interested. Maybe it’s linked to the low mood.

So sat here thinking about my low mood. Freaking out a bit because of my plan to come off medication…I HAVE to cope with this well or it will go tits up. I think though I’ve had a lot to deal with physically, so that really hasn’t helped. And its ok for my mood to change. Think maybe sometimes I am hyper aware of my mood change, because I want them to stay within the normal range and not go too low or too high. But its ok to feel low I know that. I need to relax, just go with it and try and do things that make me happy rather then laying on the sofa all day because that will feed the depression.

I have no plan as of yet tomorrow, but I have a few ideas. I’ve not got anything out for dinner as I don’t want to cook something that I am just going to waste. I do really need to clean up a bit tomorrow, so I’ll do that in the morning. Then I have a few ideas for the day, if its not too cold or horrible out, I may take the dogs on the bus and down to the beach for a nice run and maybe take them up to the cafe to warm up after. The other idea is to go see a film, I still have my free ticket to see a 3D film, I really want to see Big Hero 6….well looks like that is the only 3D film out and the only one I actually want to see lol. So all depends on the weather and how my joints are feeling. But I will really try hard to have some sort of structure to my day.

Everyone says I am so strong to deal with all I do. I know I am. But its times like this I feel so alone. I spend a lot of time just me and the pups, but I don’t mind that. But when I feel this low I notice the absence of my friends in my life more. I understand everyone is busy and has their own life, but no one has initiated contact with me this past week and a bit and that hurts…I will own how I feel and say I feel that sometimes I am always the one to contact my friends make arrangements or whatever…or I feel that sometimes I am there only when I am needed :/ I dunno, feeling a bit let down I suppose, but feeling low is making it worse. Look whatever. I am the only one that can get myself through this dip. So I gotta try and be good to myself.

I better do my injection very soon and get myself to bed :/ I’ll try and make tomorrow a better day

Peace out


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