Gender Dysphoria….joys..NOT!

I definitely feel that a positive attitude has helped me get through yesterday and has helped me feel much better then I did on Monday.

I slept really well Mon night despite sleeping most of the day but I knew I would because I was just so so exhausted.

Tuesday was really productive though, I was up and out by 9 am, took the pups for a wee, went into town to pay bills, did laundry, did my food shopping online, ordered myself some new jeans. I just sorted stuff out..can’t remember the rest lol.

In the afternoon I had a lady pick up some clothes and dog stuff that was going to help the homeless 🙂

I then had to take the pups up to the vets to get their worming and flea treatment sorted and they were well behaved as usual.

My best mate was in town while I was out, so she went to my place to wait for me and we hung out for a few hours which was really cool.

After she went I had myself some dinner, a proper dinner again. It was only a small dinner but I’m trying hard to at least eat decent food, even if it’s a small portion. When I got my food shopping I ordered proper food, things I can make decent meals from. I got stuff to make a nice beef casserole with 🙂 I’ll do that at then end of the month.

After dinner I took the pups out for an hour just and we got back just as it was getting dark. Scrappy flopped on the sofa when we got home because I took his ball out with us and wow he loves fetch so much, he didn’t stop.

I felt really peaceful after out walk, it’s something about being out by the sea that does it for me 🙂 so I wanted to make that last so I spent the evening doing some colouring. I went to bed feeling really contented.

Slept really well last night but I was awake about 7 am, so I did my usual and had breakfast and then fell back to sleep on the sofa. But I got rudely woken up by the police wanting to get into the building without alerting the person they wanted to speak too, so they buzzed me and I nearly fell off the sofa trying to get up and answer the door in a confused state lol. But I went back to sleep until nearly 12 pm lol! I did intend to clean up this morning but the flat doesn’t actually look too bad so I didn’t bother.

H turned up and I was still hanging out in my pjs lol! We chilled out, I was waiting for my food shopping to come but as H was there I was able to quickly hop in the shower and get dressed.

My food shopping came and there was a few subs, like I got diet pepsi instead of Pepsi but I live so close to the shop and I said the guy the main reason I have been ordering food because I can’t lift anything because I’m recovering from a fractured arm, so he was kind enough to go back to the shop and come back with regular Pepsi, which I was so chuffed about because that would have been wayyy to heavy for my to carry with my sore arm.

So after all that jazz, H and I caught a train into Bournmouth and spent the day shopping. Which was so cool as we’ve not done anything like that in ages because she’s not been well. But it was just so cool to just chill and hang out. I bought myself a new Vans top in the sale and a new colouring book called Enchanted Forest – An Inky Quest.

A funny situation did happen in a sports shop… We went in to have a look and I was looking at the sports bra’s to see if they would help flatten my man boobs down, so H an I both tried some on, she actually wants her for the gym. But anyway the first one I tried was difficult to get on but I managed it but it didn’t flatten much which sucked but the second one I tried on was too tight and I got stuck with my man boobs out and my arms in the air lol, so H had to rescue me and pull me out of it! Good job she was with me lol. It was funny but the trying them on triggered the gender dysphoria but I that’s gonna happen I suppose, I’m glad I did try but it’s just a case of trying different ones to get the effect I want. But yeah it was difficult to not let the gender dysphoria not effect my mood as it did put my head into a bit of a spin. Being with my best mate and having a good day with her helped me deal with it.

This evening we chilled out and watched Maze Runner as H had never seen it and the new film is coming out soon, I cannot wait and she loved it and I knew she would 🙂

H and I left mine at the same time as I wanted to take the pups out for a walk by the sea before it got too dark. I pretty much legged it to Baiter where I like to walk, just so we still had some light and Scrappy could see enough to play fetch. I was sooo tired but the pups needed to walk but it was really nice 🙂 and the pups got what they needed.

Just spent this evening chatting to friends while trying to write lol but it’s been nice.

I have group tomorrow and I’ve decided just to let go of what happened last week, clean slate and move on. No point holding onto anything.

I better get myself to bed in a mo.

Peace out

Batman

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