Lil flare, feeling crap all round.

Not been on here properly for a few days because I’ve either been too tired or too busy making YouTube videos.

Fri I spent most of it just making YouTube videos and spent pretty much all day in front of my laptop. It was good fun 🙂 but I think most of it I was just killing time.

Saturday I didn’t get up until midday and WOW I felt like fucking shit! Everything hurt and I was really snotty, chesty and generally really grotty and horrible. But I managed to get up, showered and dressed.

H came over and we went out, I had to take my stick because everything was so sore. We saw the films Legends 🙂 and wow it was amazing! It was funny, violent, sad, emotional, just very cleverly done 🙂 Loved it.

After we went to Nando’s for dinner which was nice, I didn’t eat much though. But it was enough for me.

While we waited for the bus we went and looked in Tesco’s 🙂 and got a few treats.

Got home and just sat down for a bit, wow I still feel fucking awful. Went to Asda as we both needed to pick up meds and some other bits.

We came back to mine and I just needed to go to bed, so kicked H out bless her,  I took the pups out for a wee and got myself into bed and was asleep just after 10 pm.

Today has been a bit boring I suppose and I don’t really know how I feel right now, maybe a bit low. But I think that’s probably because I’m feeling poorly.

I was up at 9 am, I had ready brek for breakfast, I did the housework, had a shower and got dressed, took the pups out for a walk and spent the afternoon sat on my butt playing Weird Park on my tab.

I did spend some time playing fetch with scrappy too. I felt a bit restless but didn’t really know what to do, just felt a bit lost today. But still don’t feel to well but definitely not as bad as I felt yesterday. Maybe I’ve spent too much time in my head or disassociating from how I am feeling, I don’t really know.

Once again I seem to be like holding my breath, really controlling it. I don’t know why. I’ve been trying to do mindful breathing so I stop doing this. But I still don’t know why I do this on and off when I feel like this. It’s such a weird symptom.

Urgh I don’t know. I think I need to do some mindfulness…but maybe my heart isn’t in it atm… not sure what it is though.

Peace out


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