Enough is Enough! Goodbye Methotrexate!

Quick catch up, it’s been a long week already. I’m tired and everything hurts and I just want to hibernate for winter.

My stomach has settled down now which is such a relief, although it is still a bit tender when I eat but that isn’t really surprising after what it’s been through.

I saw my GP yesterday and I was just on the edge when I saw him. He asked me why I was still on the methotrexate and I nearly lost it. I managed to hold myself together but it was a bit of a heated appointment..

I had my 1:1 appointment with my gender identity counsellor yesterday, which was good. It was hard work but I need to go through this process.

Today I’ve had a bit of a tantrum and I am outright refusing to take my methotexate any more. Well when I left a message with my doctors secretary, my doc rang me back in under 2 hours. She isn’t happy about me coming off it but she can’t stop me. I am however annoyed that she isn’t doing more to actually help me. But that is another issue. I am happy about it but nervous too as stopping straight off without coming off it slowly can be dangerous…but they have given me no choice! this isn’t the way I wanted to come off the methotrexate, I did want to do it all properly but they have backed me into a corner and yeah, I’m done! Enough is enough.

Also today I sent a message to a few close friends and completely opened up to them, made myself vulnerable, asked for help etc..yeah that was hard! But it was my goal from my therapy session, plus it was good to know that my friends actually love me šŸ™‚ so yeah… this is really uncomfortable to even write lol.

Mood is pretty damn low because of everything going on right now. But I am going to see a friend tomorrow so I’m really looking forward to that šŸ™‚

I am currently writing this with my kitten licking my t-shirt as usual lol. She’s so weird, she does it all the time lol, it’s mega cute though.

I’m going to get to bed, I’m so so tired.

Peace out


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