I don’t even have the energy to be angry

In just two days things have changed, my mood has dropped and I feel like shit in more ways then one. I literally don’t have the energy for anything right now, I would just like things to go a bit more smoothly for a change.

Yesterday was a good day for the most part, I saw my brother and nephew Leo for a bit in the morning, I then spent the afternoon with my best friend and in the evening I had my transgender therapy group.

That was all cool and made me happy but I had woken up with a really bad sore throat and generally felt pretty rubbish. I carried on regardless though and it was utterly exhausting.

My appetite is back on track now thankfully, Mon I had beef stroganoff, yesterday I made a sausage and bean casserole and today I had gammon, roast veg, roast potatoes and dumplings, it was really nice, I’d never made dumplings before and I will definitely be making them again. It makes my life easier when I don’t have to stress about eating or not.

So today has been a wash out pretty much, I’m so stressed out I’m almost calm about it all because it’s all out of my control at the moment.

I didn’t get out of bed until 12 pm, I just felt and still feel so ill. Everything aches and hurts, my throat is still really sore and I just generally feel unwell. Just what I need another bug…The doctors are still doing something with my details because I can’t log into their system to book an appointment, which is a bit annoying. So I’m going to ring tomorrow and see if I can get an appointment soon. I need another antibiotic to tide me over until the 18th Feb when I see my bone doc and I will be asking for a new immunosuppressant that’s not freaking methotrexate!

Anyway I dragged myself around to do the housework and the laundry. Got showered, dressed and took the rubbish out. After that I felt so exhausted, I couldn’t do anything more because everything was hurting so much.

The pups had a vets appointment at 3 pm, so I was just relaxing and watching tv before I had to go out with them.

My rest didn’t feel long enough and I still felt so ill but I got myself and the pups ready to go out. Just before we left though, I checked my bank details to see if how much money was in my account, I knew there was enough in there but I always check just in case and I am glad I did! Otherwise I would have go there and wouldn’t have been able to pay as all my money was gone!

I had to ring up the vets and cancel the pups appointment and I have to sort out another appointment tomorrow. I took the pups out for a wee and quick run as they’d not been out yet and then dropped them back.

I went to the bank and I was in there for an hour and a half and for the majority of it I was on hold, being passed to 4 different people, listening to crappy music while I was waiting. The guy that was helping me was really nice and so helpful and he spoke to the peeps on the phone for me because I didn’t know what they were on about lol. I was feeling ill and in pain and it made it hard to concentrate on anything.

The reason my money was taken goes back to Nov 15 when I had that fraud issue on my account and had to get a new card etc. Anyway long story short they didn’t receive my letter confirming that this was fraud and not a transaction that was mine, but because I hadn’t heard anything I assumed it was all sorted…clearly not the fucking case. So they’ve had to start the claim all over again, so they will send forms out again for me to sign and send back. But I won’t be sending them back, I’m going to take them to the bank so they can fax it over so they definitely get it this time.

But whilst at the bank the man that was helping me noticed that I have two different titles on my account! Which is why the fraud team were calling me Miss and not Mr..making assumptions I suppose because they too would have seen both titles on my account. Anyway this means whoever originally changed my details they didn’t do it right, so I need to take my deed poll in again and they can sort it out properly.

Yeah…..One more thing on top of everything else I’m dealing with right now. Yes its been easily sorted but I could have done without sitting in the bank on hold for an hour and a half. I haven’t even got the energy to be angry about it. Its like yup ok of course this is happening to me, after all it is me and life likes to fuck me over at every opportune moment. I’m almost expecting for things to just fuck up now because that’s how it’s been the last few months.

Anyway whatever… So how do I feel right now? I feel achy with a really sore throat. I do feel quite angry right now about everything. Mood is low because of all this bullshit..

Going to sort myself out and get to bed soon and hopefully I’ll feel well enough for group tomorrow. I hope so as I missed last week because I was fucking ill!

Peace out

Batman

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