Waiting is the worst part

It’s only been 5 days since I last posted but it feels much longer as I’ve been quite busy, mainly getting my PIP stuff sorted but I’ve also been doing nice things too, to break up the monotony of the PIP stuff.

I’ll follow on from my last post,

Mr Scrappy doodles continues to be in good health and he turns 2 next week, which has gone so fast. Foxy, Marley and Harley are also doing great and Harley has a birthday next week as well and she will be 1 years old. Its gone insanely fast.

Medical stuff – My whole knee is swollen, so is my ankle and my hip feels like its swollen too, so yeah my whole leg. The naproxen didn’t help at all, it just caused me a huge bruise on the back of my thigh. So I booked another appointment to see my GP and its this Friday…really early in the morning :/ But whatever my leg is really hurting and nothing is helping.

I have my CT scan next week which is cool but my follow up app with my ENT isn’t until July.. So I may try and see if I can bring it forward.

Disability Benefits stuff – With the help of a good friend to get stuff all printed out and another person who checked over my appeal. It all finally came together, yesterday I checked it over like 3 times to make sure everything wasn’t missing and it was all in order. I posted it special delivery which cost £7.10 but it ensured its safety to get there and they cannot say they didn’t receive it in time.

I’m glad its all done but now I’ve got to wait, which is almost as stressful. I so hope they re-think the tribunal, I can’t go through that, I just don’t have the energy for it. This process alone has taken everything from me, I have nothing left.

I’m feeling a bit lost at the moment because the process of writing my appeal has brought up so many feelings, the main feeling being anger and the fact that I’ve not dealt with the PTSD caused by my physical health illness and I don’t know where to start. It’s all been very traumatic and something no one should have to go through.

How do I feel right now? I don’t know, I think I feel sad, I suppose you could say depressed. I just don’t feel connected with myself, I’m not grounded, I’m just exhausted in every sense of the word. Tonight I will meditate, I will try and relax a bit more.

I’ll end this now as my brain has switched itself off.

Peace out

Batman

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