Psych app – Not where I want to be but where I need to be

Thought I would write a quick update from my post the other day as I had my psych appointment this afternoon.

My appointment was roughly 10 minutes long, barely that I would say. I wasn’t able to actually express myself properly and how bad I’ve actually been feeling, I was able to say my mood was low but that was about it. So yeah he really didn’t get the extent of what I am feeling right now.

He didn’t want to try me on Lamotrigine, he wanted me to see how I felt after the tribunal for benefits. He so didn’t get that I didn’t want to go to this appointment in the first fucking place! It took a lot for me to ring up and book an appointment as I feel like I’ve failed!

But I put my foot down and said no I really want to try it, even if its for 6 months just until I get back onto my feet again. So he reluctantly gave me Lamotrigine to try and I am glad I was able to put my foot down and get what I wanted.

I left feeling really fucking angry, mainly because I just felt rushed and that he just didn’t understand me at all! It took a lot for me to go there in the first place let alone say yeah I’m really fucking suicidal all the time…

But whatever its done, I got the meds I wanted so I shouldn’t hang on to it too much.

My OT rang this morning and she has done the paper work for me to get a social services blue pass so I will be able to renew my bus pass without waiting for PIP results, so I feel a bit more relieved about that I just hope it comes through quickly.

I’ve also decided to go on homeswappers just to see whats available, because if I leave it up to the council it could take forever, after all 1% of people are being adequately housed right now..URGH!

Oh my ESA assessment on Mon went well, the lady was a nurse and it was all over fairly quickly. She was really nice and totally understood my situation. So I am hoping I will here pretty soon.

Not really sure how I feel, I’m trying to let go of the anger about my appointment and just get over it but easier said then done right now.

So yeah I’m not where I want to be but I am where I need to be

Peace out

Batman

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