Food Dairy – Week 4

I am pretty proud that I am 4 weeks in and I am still trying new foods, 5 years ago I wouldn’t/couldn’t have done something like this. I definitely want to continue and I want to try new meals and new places to eat out at.

Earlier today I popped to Asda and decided to pick up a new fruit to try and I got some plumbs as they were 6 for 50p which is cheap, loads cheaper then everything I’ve tried so far.

I got home around half 3-4 pm and I was a bit hungry, so I decided why not try a plumb. As usual I looked up to see if the dogs can try a bit too. Dogs are allowed the fleshy bit but the stone is dangerous and can poison them. I enjoyed the plumb so much the pups didn’t get a look in, they were so nice, juicy, a bit sharp but I was like why have I never eaten this before lol! So yay another fruit I can snack on.

I’ve been trying to think back to when I was a kid as to whether I have eaten a plumb before and I couldn’t remember. which is why I chose it, its a possibility that I have tried it as a kid but didn’t like it but I don’t remember. There’s a LOT of my past that I have little or no memory of because its traumatic. Wow just disassociated for a moment, just writing about my past triggers disassociation.

From today I am eating less, I’ve been indulging too much, too many takeaways, too much Pepsi, eating too many packets of crisps as an easy snack. So today I’ve eat less then I have been and actually feel a bit better for it. I am so so addicted to sugar and I really want to give up Pepsi completely but I’m addicted and I drink it for emotional reasons. It’s a comfort thing, that’s probably really weird. It actually makes me anxious to even think about not drinking Pepsi everyday…this definitely isn’t normal but this is the same thought process as an addict. I can say this with confidence as that’s how I felt when I thought about not self harming every day back when I used to cut loads every day. I have only self harmed twice in the last 3 and a bit years. But yeah Pepsi doesn’t even taste of anything any more because I drink it so much, I’m totally powerless over this addiction. I do want to quit but I don’t, I’m not quite there yet.

That’s all for now

Peace out

Batman

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