I don’t know if I’ll post this but I needed to write to get it all out of my head before I go insane.
I feel so disconnected from everything, I feel like a robot, nothing feels real. I’m just doing things because I have to, just emotionless, going through the motions.
Yet inside, my heart is just burning up with pain. It feels so overwhelming and I don’t know what it is.
And I just can’t let myself be vulnerable with anyone because I’m scared, I’m scared of people knowing I’ve not got it all together like I show people, I’m scared of being rejected for it, I’m scared I won’t be able to get myself back together again.
I feel so fucking broken, so lost.
I feel so anxious all the time, I only go out the absolute bare minimum. I just can’t face the world. I can’t keep putting on the mask.
I feel like I could scream and shout, punch and kick and still I wouldn’t be heard. Why would anyone care anyway?
This pain is crippling, squeezing ever last ounce of my soul out, into just a puddle of nothing on the floor.
I just want it to stop.