I feel like there’s so much write, but where to even start. Most of it isn’t trans related but it all has a knock on effect on everything else. My brain is just overflowing, its so overwhelming and I don’t want to deal with any of it, at least not until January. I need to get my head straight and I need to figure out where to even start.
I haven’t noticed any new testosterone related changes, but today I found two white hairs growing out of my face lol! Man I don’t want a white santa beard, I’m too young. I really need to shave, but my voice it still fairly girly I feel. I need to be in a good place in order to start and right now I’m just not in that place.
I’ve been really struggling with depression, anxiety and disassociation which has led to 3 occasions of self harm. I’ve been referred back to the community mental health team, not sure when I’ll be seen though.
The disassociation is probably down to the gender dysphoria and the disconnection between my body and my brain. I talk more about it in the video, its hard to explain and right now I’m really tired and feel really spacey, I’m trying hard to stay in the moment.
I feel like I’ve got a huge mountain to climb and I can’t do it… urgh. I’m over it.
^This weeks picture
^This weeks video