Another week has just flow by, another week where I’ve not slept a whole lot and my mood is low. Right now I just want to hibernate until this cold weather is over and I feel better.
I have noticed one change this week and that’s the hair on my stomach and chest is getting a bit darker and move obvious, so that’s pretty cool. But that’s it, I’m still struggling so much with dysphoria around my chest. I just want top surgery like now…then maybe I would feel less disconnected from everything.
I feel so lonely, like I’m trapped in my own little world, unable to connect with anything and anyone. It feels horrible and is probably why my mood is so low at the moment.
Being trans is more then just the physical transition, it certainly takes its emotional toll, which I am finding more and more challenging, especially with new hormones flying around. But I’ve got some good friends who are always there for me, which makes things easier.
Yesterday I met up with my grandparents and my mum because its my birthday on Friday, but urgh I only did it out of duty and not because I wanted to be there. They didn’t ask how I was, no mention of my transition, nothing. Its like I’m invisible, seeing them didn’t help my mood, never does when I see them.
^ This weeks picture
^ This weeks video