Transition update – Week 45 on T

Its been a funny old week this week, I’ve mainly been feeling really overwhelmed with different emotions and I’ve started to unpick them and try and make sense of it all, in order to hopefully ease how I feel.

I’ve mainly been feeling super anxious, awkward, uncomfortable and generally out of place. I think part of that is the dysphoria but some of it isn’t.

Things are going well and its uncomfortable so a part of me wants to hit self destruct and fuck it all up because its easier but the other part of me wants so much to push through these uneasy feelings and get past all the negative patterns. Self destruction would be the easiest option but I will never move forward if I do… so I’m gonna work hard to push through this uncomfortable stage because I do deserve to be happy (even if I don’t always believe it)

I’ll get through I always do, I just gotta keep working on myself to move forward.

It’s hard to know what’s the gender dysphoria and what’s not as it’s all a bit jumbled up but I’m working on slowly unpicking things and mainly trying to name my emotions so I can see what’s what.

I have my first consultation for top surgery in 3 weeks which I’m super excited for! I literally can’t wait!

Week 45 on T

^ This weeks picture

^ This weeks video

That’s all for now,

Peace out

Zak

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