So a couple of days ago I deleted everyone off FB and at first it was out of anger and frustration and also a bit scary but it’s actually been really liberating as well, I don’t feel like there’s things that are expected of me, as there’s no one to see anything anyway.
Feels good, if people really want to remain friends then they know where I am.
Yesterday I was really down and feeling like I no longer wanted to exist, not suicidal just didn’t want to be here anymore. It’s something I’ve been struggling with for a few months.
I feeling lonely and frustrated, so I decided to go to the retreat at Hahnemann House, it’s a safe place to go if you feel like you’re heading in crisis or are in crisis.
I had the best time, I chatted, did mindfulness, played go fish. It was so nice to be around other people and the best part was for the first time in a long time I actually felt heard! Which for me is so important, as I often feel ignored, left out, not heard etc. It really made all the difference, if I hadn’t gone I could have ended up harming myself.
I’m on my way back tonight 🙂 I’m looking forward to it. Just to not feel so alone and to be safe.
I rarely ask for help, the last few years I’ve been much less open because I don’t feel heard so I gave up bothering.
I didn’t want to go to my GP or back to the psychiatrist because drugs will only mask the root cause which is social isolation, it won’t make things better. I’d rather work on myself to feel better then up my meds and just feel like a zombie.
Anyway that’s all,