Negative spiral – update

This negative spiral, intense depression and anxiety is not good!

Slipping back into old behaviours and thought patterns that I worked so hard on to change.

I don’t mean to be a dick and come across as angry and ungrateful, I’m loosing grip on the ability to control it.

Back sliding happens I suppose, I try to be perfect but it’s not possible. I’m emotionally exhausted, trying to work through it on my own. I’m trying to be open but it’s so hard.

It’s hard not to get sucked into the belly of the negative hurricane of horrible words about myself that swirls around in my brain.

I make myself so sad, I’m trying my best not to be pulled further into the darkness, but there’s nothing to grab onto, the surfaces are slippery, I’m exhausted, it’s easier just to let go.

I do have an appointment next month with my psychiatrist, I’m going to ask for therapy, as I feel I need a DBT update, as it was 6 years ago since I finished it. I think I would benefit from a refresher to help set my brain back on the right track.

Just know I’m trying

Peace out

Zak

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