This isn’t something I’ve spoken about much, mainly because it’s something that’s happened gradually over my transition.
Looking through Facebook memories and the last year I’ve taken a less selfies, compared to previous years where I’ve posted multiple selfies a day.
I think a lot of it is that now I’m nearly 2 years on testosterone, I’m more self conscious, so don’t want to see pictures of myself.
Maybe after top surgery I’ll feel more myself and much more confident in myself.
I’ve become really closed off and extremely anxious about like everything. I shut people out, cut people off, really easily. Which is not me at all, I’m slowly starting to open myself up again and pushing through the fear, anxiety and negativity.
Again I think top surgery will help with a lot of it. I know it won’t be the absolute solution and I still have a lot of work still to do on myself. But I think it will be a big relief.
I took a couple of pictures today with my dogs which was cool, I felt ok about it.
^ me and Foxy girl
^ me and Scrappy doodles
I’ve also been shaving my face once a week to get the hair growth to come through. Because I gets spots around my chin and upper lip I don’t want to shave more often than that as it makes them sore, so once a week is enough for now. That’s another thing that makes me anxious/gender dysphoric is that my legs are super hairy but my face isn’t yet. I know in time it will get more fluffy but it does get a bit frustrating.
Anyway that’s all for now