There’s so much sadness inside that needs to come out. In fact I think if kept writing everyday for the rest of my life it still wouldn’t cover everything I hold deep inside.
I don’t even know enough words to express all the things I’m holding onto.
I can feel them inside just waiting to tumble out onto the tear stained pages of my notebook.
It’s impossible to write it all down, the more I write the more that comes out. Even my own words surprise me sometimes.
Some of the stuff I’m unlocking in my head, I wasn’t aware it was in there. That’s how much I repress and hide my feelings and myself.
I don’t even know myself, or what’s inside that darkness lurking inside.
There’s so much to unravel, so much to look at and try to understand. But hopefully I’ll start learning more about who I am and start loosing my grip on the darkness.
Maybe some hidden things are better off staying hidden, until the time is right for me to learn that particular lesson.
I need to keep writing, to get everything out and untangle the mess inside my head.
For some reason I write best late at night. My mind seems to be clearer, my thoughts seemed to be lined up in order ready to be written out.