Struggling so much!

Not written for a while. Not been feeling too social-able.

So Marley is pregnant, but I can just about cope with me and them let alone kittens as well. So she is getting spayed tomorrow. I feel really bad for her and the kittens. But it’s for the best in the long run. I’ve got to get her to the vets for 8:30am-9am OMG! So early and takes an hour on the bus! 😦 Will try and find someone to take me there. No luck as of yet though.

DBT group going ok…. Feeling a bit jaded with it all really, but sticking it out as it is one of my days where I actually see people for a few hours. It’s just an effort to get up and there for 10am. I am so exhausted right now. 

Think I may skip class tomorrow as I gotta be up so early to take Moo’s to the vets. Will probably come home and crash out till I have to go pick her up again.

I am ill yet again! I am so fed up of getting ill time after time it’s unreal, not helping my moods at all, it’s just dragging me down and  making me feel worse. I was well for about 2 weeks and yet again I think it’s just a viral infection. So I need to see my gp again. I am so tired and achy its un-believable! I’m just sleeping so much. Feeling so down and depressed today, just keep thinking why am I still here?!

Just fed up, not coping well at all. I just want to hid away from everything. I just want everything to go away.

MEH! 

Peace out

Tank girl x

Uh Oh!

I think my baby girl,  Marely moo, might be pregnant! Poor girl! Will take her to the vets next week, and keep you all up-date. Not sure if I will be able to handle 2 cats, and pregnant cat and then kittens as well as myself…. Will see what my options are if she is pregnant. I’m going to get her a separate litter tray, so she can stay in my room away from the boys, till I know what’s going on for sure, as she’s been hissing at Oscar in particular at the moment, and he is the daddy!

Oh my! Oscar will be getting his balls of as soon as possible I can tell you that!

Peace out

Tank girl x

1st Blog :)

So wow this is my 1st blog! 🙂 I hope everyone that reads is able to get something out of it.

I’ve been doing a lot of  “random” scribblings at the moment. Anything that comes to mind, comes out onto paper. I find it very therapeutic, it helps get everything out and organises my thoughts and feelings. I think I get more sense out my my crazy writing then I do out of my psychiatrist, who is a complete douche bag,  and never listens to what I have to say. I swear she is just in the job for herself….. her own self fulfilling bullshit… I don’t know, but it’s certainly not to help those who are screaming out for her help…. As you may of noticed I am totally disillusioned by our so called mental health system in this country.

I will eventually show you all some of my random stuff…. But not just yet.

It’s nearly 3am and I’m still awake. My brain is rushing full of ideas and thoughts and things to do. Why it does this in the middle of the night I have no idea… I suppose by being up and writing and giving into my racing thoughts is probably not the greatest idea in the world.

My cat’s are very excited that I am up and in the lounge with them. They are racing about the flat like they are on speed lol!

Just watching Law and order SVU… I love crime shows and stuff like that, CSI Vegas, New York and Miami. I’m not too keen on NCIS though.

Ok this has been a bit of a ramble of a blog haha! BUT I’m sure they will get better as I go on.

Peace Out x